super power

Tertiary syphillis...

it can morph a 125lb lady into the Hulk

It's not ironic

Chief Complaint:
Shortness of breath
"I feel like it's hard for me to catch my breath."

No kidding. If I had 460 pounds of flesh smothering my 1.4 pound lung, I'd be short of breath too.

Gun Control

Note to gun owners:

When cleaning/loading/checking your firearm, never point the firing end of the gun towards anything you don't mind being blown to bits.

Meet Mr. Brilliant, now missing a few "vital" organs. If only he'd known..

Priorities

Asystole.
Several hundred compressions,
4 rounds of epi,
3 round of atropine,
4 runs of V-fib,
5 shocks.
Normal Sinus Rhythm.
"Where's his Rolex?"

Priceless.